I know that The Onion is a satirical publication, but, alas, this doesn’t read like satire.
WASHINGTON—With polls this week showing the race between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney tightening even further, a growing number of political experts have declared this year’s election will almost certainly be decided by a small handful of swing corporations.
“While most publicly traded companies are solidly red or blue, there are four or five major corporations that are complete tossups right now, and any one of them could prove decisive come November,” said Nate Silver of The New York Times, noting in particular that Procter & Gamble, a traditional bellwether for the country as a whole, remained a “total wildcard.” “Both candidates will have to focus almost exclusively on these swing businesses in order to gain the upper hand.”
“And given how close this race is, I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole thing comes down to undecided executives at Dow Chemical or Disney,” Silver continued. “Let’s not forget 2000, when Philip Morris International single-handedly put George W. Bush into office.”